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PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 12:13 pm 
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jabtome wrote:
Amazing! I was familiar with that party but not all those specifics. Yes I would love to read that exchange about the Texas CFNM party, please post it.


joystick2 wrote:
So would I! Please post your exchange with the CFNM woman from Texas.


Mobius wrote:
I completely agree !



Okay, you got it!

I had a profile on another forum with many CFNM party photos posted. A lady had clicked on the "I Love it" icon next to several, which I found alluring, thus I sent her a PM. Here were the photos she loved:
ImageImageImageImageImage



Ordinarily, I'd not post her photo; however, she is not being reserved about her events, but instead, open and is presently bringing on board interested participants. But for now, I'll call her "Ms. T".

Ms. T enjoys female domination, but, not in the vein of S&M, humiliation, etc. This means her events will not be about humiliation or impact play (ergo, ball busting, face slapping, caning), but instead, they will focus on the joy of having naked men serve and bring delight to an empowered group of clothed women. The page that announces her gatherings quote me in a number of places, and references cfnmvillage.com - mainly the The CFNM Story.

Here are some photos of this beautiful woman:
ImageImageImageImage


The following, which took place over 4 months, is edited to take out personal references and situations. Also, it is only part of our conversations as we have also been emailing back and forth outside of the PMs. I'm presenting this to you such that you can all see how these parties evolve, and that yes, there really are women that are as into CFNM parties as the men that want them. It's all about taking the initiative, which I did so long ago in organizing the first ones. If you want to attend one in your area, it's the old "build it and they will come" because you'll not likely be invited to one wherein others have had to put the work into getting them going. Guys sitting on their butts wanting to be invited to one always do just that -- sit on their butts..


Brad (first message to Ms. T 4 months ago):

Hello Ms. T,

I saw you liked a number of photos tied to CFNM. As you may have noted from my profile, I was the creator of the acronym back in the 1990s when the Internet was advancing kinks of all kinds. I love your profile, and you are tremendously sexy! ;) I also like the fact you're in [Texas], where I spent much of my life. I'd love to chat with you sometime. May I friend you?

Ms T: Hi, thank you and sure, I love all the ideas I got from your pics and wrote them down in my kink journal. I'm a fan of CFNM and hosted my first CFNM event a few weeks ago. It was a tiny get together with just my favorite play partner serving and entertaining me and three friends with a tea party theme. We all had a most excellent time and I've been asked repeatedly when I'll be hosting another event with more people. I'm seriously considering starting a CFNM group. I haven't discovered one yet, and there seems to be quite a bit of interest in it. I need to look up how to play Blind Man's Bluff. I've heard of the game, but don't recall the rules.

Cheers,
Ms. T

Brad: Cool! I'm glad you're interested in CFNM. My first CFNM experience was in Austin at Hippy Hollow. I met up with a group of coeds from UT - they remained clothed but I was nude. It was erotic - the feeling of vulnerability and inequity was exhilarating. They liked it too ;) I've been writing a manual on hosting CFNM parties. It's a long way from being complete, and I may just end up publishing it on my website http://www.cfnmvillage.com If you're interested, Chapter 5 is about suggested CFNM party games and activities. It's in PDF form, and if you want a copy, I can email it to you. If so, shoot me your email.

Ms. T: I did see that you were working on a 'man'ual, (Ha) and that would be fantastic if you would send me the chapter 5 pdf. XXXXX@xxx.com is my kink email account.

Brad: Hey there! Sorry I've been unable to respond to your email about CFNM gatherings and venues. I've been rewriting sections of the manuscript - it's quite a challenge proofing one's own work. I'm condensing it, making it clearer and less a compilation of random thoughts. So how have you been?

Ms. T: Hi there! Life is dynamic; I don't sweat it when people are living their lives before becoming enslaved to the virtual world. Thank you for your courtesy, though; I do appreciate it :). I'm looking forward to reading the next chapters, and will read the stickies, too. I should have thought to look there. If you like, I will make note of any typos I run across in the chapters and send a list to you.

Brad: I certainly appreciate any comments about typos,but more importantly, it helps to hear a woman's thoughts on things. Unfortunately, so much what I get are from men, or responses from women that in reality also have penises ;) The women that have provided me insights have really made the thoughts and recommendations far more compelling for those women interested. I saw some of your likes on my profile's photos, which i assume were activities you might enjoy. I'd be interested in here the specific other activities you'd like...aside from have your car detailed by the naked guys (that's a given!). Also, please visit my site http://www.cfnmvillage.com, as it has some great possibilities for regional-specific CFNM gatherings. we can discuss more later.

Ms. T: Is Red Rover listed among your games? I don't recall seeing it, but I skimmed over a few of the pages and just read titles of games I was already familiar with. Don't know if it would be all that fun in reality, but it might be. In case you're not familiar, there are two lines of people/ teams, with team members holding hands. There needs to be several yards of distance between the opposing teams. Team A would call out to team B, "Red Rover, Red Rover, send Brad right over!" Then you would have to run from your team to team A and try to break through team A's line (you choose where). If you can't break the line, they keep you on their team. If you do break the line, you get to go back to your team (and maybe even take someone from that team with you...it's been a thousand years since I played this game as a kid!). I do think I would enjoy seeing naked fellas running back and forth and trying to crash into my arms, though. ;P

An adaptation to the ring toss, if it hasn't been done yet (probably has, but mentioning just in case), would be to add complexity. Instead of just one guy, have several at different distances so that more points/ CFNM $ are earned depending on which pole is rung, so to speak.

Brad:Red Rover is an interesting idea - perhaps instead of holding hands you could hold..hmmmmmmm LOL!

I like the variation of the ring toss too. Rather than having just one guy, all the men could participate making it a game for everyone attending. Lots of variations - different color rings designate different guys, or, if a guy does not, well, present a large target his pole could be added points? ;)))

This brings up a topic that is often top of spirited conversations about CFNM events, and that is, whether it is desirable to have the men openly masturbating. Of course, for guys to get hard to play ring toss or other games/contests, they'd have to be continually and openly jacking themselves off. Some dommes despise that. In the CFNM forum, many of the dommes feel such displays are undesirable.

Conversely, other women (and our survey confirmed a majority) think that men self-pleasuring themselves for the females' viewing fun would be a desirable activity at CFNM gatherings with it varying from simply having the men do it when requested to actually having contests (but I know of no such contests at CFNM gatherings yet).

As a guy, I know most guys (again, survey confirms the majority) are embarrassed or intimidated by even discussing they masturbate with a woman let alone doing it openly in front of a group, thus not only proving to the ladies they do, but to demonstrate to them just how they do it. But then, that embarrassment is often the very reason a lot women like to have the men openly do it - sort of an additional mind game/power-control the clothed women have over the naked men...which when I think about it, is a perfectly appropriate reason that compliments well the underlying intent of CFNM.

I have personally been a "victim" at a CFNM party of women very forcefully telling me they wanted me to jack myself off in front of them (multiple ladies) so they could watch me. I at first said no and was resistant. But as their requests turned into stern demands, to appease them, I did. But I was nervous and self-conscious as I did...sort of like an ice bath and the thoughts in my head were that I couldn't believe I was doing it!

But their cheers and loud laughter as I came (which drew attention from every female at the party) made it clear they thoroughly enjoyed it, and despite my very much not wanting to do it, understanding that female pleasure should always supersede a man's insecurity and embarrassment at a CFNM party made me realize that how it all come down was the exactly right way it should have. The sequence of how it happened, from their original request and my initial rejection - to their forcefully demanding it (due to an earlier email promise they'd see it during the event) it and my reluctant acquiescence the full compliance - followed by their jubilation and my embarrassment - was the exact way a CFNM gathering should go, and in retrospect I'm very glad it happened that way. It went down was appropriate and demonstrated to everyone there what CFNM is all about, and seeing their joy was the sole yet best reward for me in complying, and made it a win-win success for all.

It helps me to know what women think as I continue my writings. What are your thoughts as to this type of activity? What sexy things would you want (or not want) at a CFNM gathering?

Ms. T: Oh wow! Red Rover holding onto your jiggly bits tightly enough to prevent other players from breaking the line would be a fun option for the fellas into impact play, or at least those who enjoy a significant amount of pain! I love it :lol:

Regarding the boys masturbating, thats a must as far as I'm concerned! Of course, I'm a voyeur, and I like boys, so that only goes to follow. My main play partner introduced me to a fun game called Red Light, Green Light. I tell him when to start...and when to stop touching himself, and continue doing so until I want to see him cum. The same thing can be done with a Hitachi Magic Wand, or the like.

I don't think there is a "one size fits all" formula for much of anything in life, including CFNM events, and each host should be expected to put their own spin or flair on it, while remaining true to the basic tenets of CFNM. If you {the general you, not specifically you) get mired in minutuae, you'll take all the fun right out of it, in my opinion.

What I would want or not want at a given CFNM event depends entirely on the size of the event and who all would be in attendance. Sounds like a cop-out, right? Maybe, but what I would want for an event in my casita doesn't have much in common with what I would want at an event at a big venue where some of the outdoor games would be possible.

If it's a CFnm event, I think some of the men should help the hosts of the event set up the party; how many would be determined by the size of the event and what was needed. They could get favors or rewards if/as deemed appropriate by their Mistresses.

That's all I've got for you so far...
Ciao!

Brad:Lovely! I love your way of thinking, very much mirrors mine.

SO....here is something I've truly wanted more than any other. Ready?? Naked Iron Chef. I REALLY would love to compete with other guys (naked) in the kitchen. I have certain dishes that I think would convince the ladies I have some REAL talent.

I have this garlic Szechwan pork dish that mesmerizes. I grow my own basil, and make a bruschetta that turns women into jelly in my hands. I also make a barbeque sauce I used with smoked ribs that would rival the Salt Lick. Of course, an apron is a must if I'm in front of hot flames!

Thanks for your Internet friendship and response. I enjoy reading your thoughts :)

Ms. T: Thank you for adding the apron...literally laughing out loud!! I read a comment recently about someone burning his jiggly bits because he was frying food naked. That's just silly! As long as there is an apron involved, I think that is a FABULOUS idea. It would be easy enough to get several electric hot plates, griddles, and woks that could be plugged in and set up at someone's house who had a really big kitchen island (a lot of the parties around here are done in private homes, and The Community Place kitchen isn't well equipped or laid out for that sort of thing, but could work).

I also enjoy our correspondence and online friendship Brad. Thank you for the compliments, too. I always appreciate sincere kindness.
Cheers,

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If the highest aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever. ~ Thomas Aquinas


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 12:13 pm 
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jabtome wrote:
She's creative, confident, into CFNM, and is gorgeous AF. I would love to read more such interactions when possible.

By the way, the reason I asked you about post orgasmic regret is because I've often had fantasies like what you experienced. Whenever I finish though I think "Oh my God, I'm glad that wasn't real or I'd be mortified". I've written before about my fantasies of embarrassment and love the idea of the women laughing at me while I wank, but I think that I'd get lost in the moment and regret what I did.

This is one of the best threads I've read on here and would love to hear more.


You're very insightful. You can discern clearly between fantasy and reality without having to experience that transition. What I did not expect was that women too have CFNM humiliation fantasies. That is, women really do get erotically aroused by not only having a very unfair advantage over men due to their being clothed while the men are completely naked, but to take it even further forcing a naked man to also be psychologically and emotionally naked as well by having him to something in front of them he ordinarily would never discuss let alone show others...only to then exploit that vulnerability by laughing and bringing everyone's attention to him at the moment he cums solely to relish in making him as embarrassed (humiliated?) as possible. The quandary for me was reconciling how this woman on the one hand was sexually attracted to my nudity (she kept playing with my dick telling her friend she wanted to suck it right there) yet on the other hand embarrassed me in that way after I was obedient to her demands?

This is thus the ultimate test for men into CFNM gatherings, which is, do you kowtow to such demands of the women embracing their empowerment by proving their interests supersede that of the men? Do you be the "good boy" and obey to prove to them you honor their elevated status? Or, does a guy simply go and do what's in his best interest at any time while trying to get one of the ladies in the sack?

That is the question...

You're right in that that moment was not what I ended up expecting, but was confusing as I was conflicted by the feelings of an orgasmic high through realization of that fantasy versus actual humiliation in front of so many people, which was brutal on my ego.

But still, I vote for the former, because in having a female-first doctrine always placing the feminine interests above that of the men, you'll end up drawing more women to the event and a more balanced gender ratio. The latter approach by men only results in fewer women coming, no pun intended.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 12:22 pm 
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For those that wonder about the "rules" and "expectations of the ladies" at REAL CFNM parties, the following were the rules just laid down by the ladies hosting the Austin CFNM party of which I mentioned. This demonstrates how the stereotypes can be completely wrong. The BDSM CFnm events posted on various websites often portray these events as to ones wherein the male nudity is not to be noticed, and the men simply serve as slaves to the egos of dominant women, "fetching" things to their beck and call, but the men do not display anything tied to sexual arousal, nor is that type of demonstration wanted.

BUT....

As you can see from this delightfully beautiful hostess, this is not true for what the first CFNM parties in Austin will be about. It is clear that at this CFNM gathering, which is 100% planned and orchestrated by the ladies, and for the ladies, the men must strip completely naked upon entering the party and cannot dress until they leave. The ladies, however, must remain fully clothed for the entire event.

What is VERY erotic about this event is what the ladies want, that is, the theme of the event. Although presented in a very female way of putting it, it is clear the ladies will expect the naked men to participate in jacking off competitions, ergo "target" and "how will you aim to please?" You will also note where the hostess indicates how the messes of each man will be kept clean (towel and antibacterial clean-ups).

Also, there are no private rooms, and all doors are to remain fully opened. In other words, if a naked fellow is expected to perform, she wants to make sure all ladies present will have the opportunity to watch - men are obligated to do whatever it is the ladies want in front of all the ladies - no privacy whatsoever.

I am hoping to hear back her report of the event, which I am sure will indicate the ladies had a wonderful, delightful time, and, set precedent how these protocols and activities are very appropriate for CFNM parties establishing how great they can be.




Theme for our first party? LAUNCH PARTY!

Think hitting targets, rockets, missiles, taking off...you get the idea. How will you aim to please? Games and activities will be based on this theme.

WHERE: Address and directions below. Read on, please.

WHEN: (see invite)

CFNM Austin

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR KNOWING THE PARTY RULES, SO PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING CAREFULLY:

1. All group members must be vetted by one of the group leaders or our designee in order to gain inclusion on the party email list.

2. Males in the group do not need to be submissives, but all males, regardless of role, will be expected to give deference to all females at events, also regardless of role. The Female-First Doctrine establishes that the needs, interests, desires and requirements of the women hosting and/or attending our events always supersede that of the men attending. (Female First Doctrine – read more about this in the CFNM Austin discussion sticky)

3. Any member whose behavior has to be addressed more than once will be asked to leave the event. Depending on the situation, the individual may also be permanently blocked from the group.

WHAT TO BRING:

· $15 cash for party donation

· Photo ID

· Males bring a CLEAN towel upon which to sit.

This is not to be used as a clean-up towel. If you do not bring a towel to sit on, you may rent one from the host for $1.

· Toy/ gear bag…anything you need for your play and is permitted at the venue. Don't know what to put in your bag? I've got a link for that.

· Clean-up (personal and scene) and aftercare supplies

· An open mind, common sense and good manners

COST: A $15 party donation at the door. We provide bottled water, soft drinks, ice, pretzels, a cheese tray, a veggie tray, fruit, plates, napkins, and plastic ware. If you wish to bring additional food and/or drink for yourselves or others, feel free. Snacks may be adjusted to suit the event and season themes.

WHAT: Our parties will be kinky. All the males will be nude and we will play games, the males will serve the women in various capacities depending on theme, location, etc.

· Males in attendance will be given a numbered paper bag when they check in. They are to remove all of their clothing and put the clothes in the bag and bring the bag back to the front door. They may reclaim their bag at the end of the party. Remember your number.

· Women remain fully clothed throughout the entire event.

WHO: CFNM Austin invited guests.

· You will be asked to produce an ID to show that you are a least 21 years of age and to sign a liability waiver with your legal name at each event.

· If you have receive the invitation from your hostess, you are invited.

· You may NOT bring a guest unless they have met one of the group leaders or their designee and that individual’s attendance has been approved.

· If you and/or your guest(s)'s email addresses are not on the list at the door, you will not be allowed in. Not on the list? Not admitted. No exceptions. Yeah, we’re that serious about protecting our guest’s privacy. Aren’t you lucky? ;)

NO PHOTOGRAPHY. Do NOT take any photographs unless you have the explicit permission of your hostess and everyone in the frame. Only under the rarest of circumstances would any photos be taken at a play party, and even then only under carefully controlled situations, usually in a private room.

KEEP YOUR CELL PHONE IN YOUR BAG. When you are in a play area or around anyone who is nude or underdressed, someone in a scene can't tell if you're texting or taking photos of them. If you must use your phone, go outside or somewhere away from others.

RESPECT PRIVACY: Like Vegas, what happens at this party stays at this party. Particularly, don't talk about this party, the people who were in attendance, or what went on at the party. If you see someone from the party later on in the vanilla world and you aren’t 100% certain that every person they are with is in the BDSM scene, DO NOT approach them.

WHAT TO WEAR: Please wear street clothes or cover up outside as you come and go from the party. You are welcome to change here. Additional details on this topic covered in the “WHAT” section. Never sit on the furniture naked.

PLEASE REMOVE YOUR SHOES UPON ENTERING.

PLEASE KEEP FOOD AND DRINK (EXCEPT WATER) CONFINED TO THE KITCHEN AND DOWNSTAIRS LIVING ROOM. Water is allowed anywhere, and there is usually bottled water in the refrigerator if you need to bring some to a bottom after a scene.

THE KITCHEN IS A NO-PLAY AREA.


NO CLOSED DOORS. There are no "private rooms" during parties at this venue.


SMOKE OUTSIDE ON THE BACK PORCH ONLY.

DON'T PLAY OR GO NAKED/UNDERDRESSED OUTSIDE.

NO ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES ON THE PREMISES. This includes pot, indoor or outdoor.

BE OF LEGAL DRINKING AGE IF YOU DECIDE TO DRINK. And arrange for your transportation home, especially if you will be drinking, playing hard, or doing something else that would impair your ability to drive. Drinking and playing is a bad idea; come to drink or play, not both.


CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR SCENE. There will be antibacterial wipes around for wiping up your play area after you're done. Also, there will be towels around for your use (consider placing these under yourself or your partner if a scene will be messy).


PLEASE ASK BEFORE USING ANY OF MY IMPACT TOYS OR INSERTABLES. It's always best to bring your own toy bag, but if you do want to use one of mine, please clear it with me so I can make sure it gets cleaned correctly. Feel free to use the kink furniture, but it's a good idea to ask how a specific piece works.

NO LOUD SCREAMING. If the neighbors or people on the street can hear you, it’s too loud and could cause serious problems for us all.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2017 9:14 am 
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Have you kept in touch with this lovely woman and the Austin CFNM branch?


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PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2017 1:03 pm 
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Brad, I'm sure I'm not the only one who is dying for updates. Do I have to get down and beg? :D


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PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2017 1:26 pm 
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jabtome wrote:
Have you kept in touch with this lovely woman and the Austin CFNM branch?


Yes, we correspond regularly. She apprises me of upcoming events, and, how the last ones went. I created for her some artwork for her next CFNM event themed "CFNM Rodeo", which she loved and is using it for the party theme:

Image

The problems she is having are to be expected, that is, the desired agenda, activities and games. She also has a lot more guys interested than females, and is thus becoming more selective for the male RSVPs, including possibly having a rotating agenda where certain guys can come to one, but not the next.

She says she will take my advice and use the male-selection process to bring the gender ratio into balance while also directing the event more towards her liking. For instance, she's not a sadistic domme, but, does like some fun games and activities that are uncomfortable for a lot of the vanilla guys. Some of the guys won't get an erection due to their being intimidated. She therefore can't play ring toss, nor can she get the guys to openly masturbate, which for her and the other ladies is a major turn-on. But I encourage her to continue onward as she'll find that right balance with guys.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2018 1:04 pm 
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Hey Brad,
I saw your post about the CFNM parties sometimes held in the Virginia, Hampton Roads area. I'm potentially interested in going to one. Do you still have a point of contact that I could reach out to? I saw the post is from 2015, so maybe not. Just thought I'd ask.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2018 7:59 am 
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runningtriumph wrote:
Hey Brad,
I saw your post about the CFNM parties sometimes held in the Virginia, Hampton Roads area. I'm potentially interested in going to one. Do you still have a point of contact that I could reach out to? I saw the post is from 2015, so maybe not. Just thought I'd ask.


Start here: https://fetlife.com/groups/12424

If that doesn't work, read our website instructions on getting CFNM parties going in your area.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2018 2:20 pm 
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An interesting article:
https://metro.co.uk/2018/07/19/like-ins ... s-7733916/


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