I've pondered this scenario for years. The challenge I've always had is that people have differing definition of the word "platonic". And whenever someone says
"Well, to me the word means...yadda yadda", that only confuses the situation because individuals are wrongfully using words if they solely rely upon their own perception as to the meaning of that word.
If one reads the various definitions, the term
"platonic" , which is derived by teachings of Plato (although he never used that term) is
not related to the word
"casual" in any manner. They have entirely different meanings.
If one ascribes to the truest meaning of "platonic love", then there also is a dissociation of those feeling with the other's gender, ergo, platonic should not be associated with "CFNM" as the latter establishes a gender relationship. As it is defined, in platonic love carnal desires of the body are replaced with the "truest" form of love, and that is love of the soul. So effectively, the term "platonic" is more closely aligned with the term "spiritual" as opposed to "casual".
Merriam-Webster's Definition of PlatonicBut like any word, over time people begin to use it in contexts of which the creator never envisioned, and the masses then redefine that term. I've seen this happen to "CFNM" as each person that finds interest in it also attempt to redefine it to what they want it to be absent any reference to etymology or how and why it was created.
So we now see the term "platonic" applied to relationships that are void of romance and sex, generally meaning that if a guy has a platonic relationship with a female it can be described best as "just friends" or "the friend zone". And that's okay. My only concern about usage of words is when two people have differing ideas about what it means, yet each doesn't realize the other is talking about something different.
When I coined the term "CFNM", it was never meant to be a subset BDSM, although I would say enjoyment of "humiliation"
is a subset of BDSM. But those into BDSM and humiliation will argue vehemently that CFNM is indeed a subset of BDSM. The truth is the reverse...BDSM is just one manner of enjoyment of CFNM because of the power exchange dynamic. But there are others as noted above.
But because of the constant confusion brought on by so many wanting to own the definition of things, I created this web page to set it all straight, as I'm the only one that has a right to claim a greater understanding of the term "CFNM" as I created it:
Defining CFNM