Frequently Asked Questions About CFNM
Q: I have never heard of CFNM or events of this nature. Where and when did this all begin?
A: Generally speaking, "CFNM" used as an acronym for a clothed-female/naked-male encounter was created around 1992 by the owner of this site as a means to describe a situational context wherein the men are completely nude while the women in the presence of these naked men remain clothed. Key aspects in its definition include:
a) both genders are consenting adults that have knowingly put themselves in such a context or situation;
b) it is not concomitant to a sexual encounter, that is, sex between the genders is not a purpose for the encounter; and,
c) the exchange is typically more than just an accidental encounter but instead, a prolonged interaction.
The term "CFNM" by itself does not describe any type of sexual play, fetish or paraphilia, but instead simply describes a dress code for a situation. It can appropriately be used to characterize a multitude of situations that may be either innocuously dispassionate or erotically charged. Examples of the former might include a vocation wherein the woman is in the presence of nude men, such as a female reporter in a male sport team's locker room or women working on a movie set when male actors are nude. Examples of a more erotically charged CFNM encounter might be an event organized for, say, a bachelorette party, an orchestrated CFNM party or perhaps for a BDSM gathering oriented towards the subservience of the men attending.
Although the acronym "CFNM" is relatively new in describing this type of situation, these situations can be observed throughout history. As an example, in Ancient Greece during the original Olympics young unmarried virgins were encouraged to watch all the male athletes compete naked in the belief it would entice them to marry. In fact, the word "gymnasium" comes from the Ancient Greek word "gymnos", which literally means "naked", and was how all men were required to compete athletically as it encouraged aesthetic appreciation of the male body. In more recent centuries up until the late 1800s, men typically swam completely nude in rivers, lakes and at the beach while those women present virtually always chose to preserve their modesty and remained clothed.
The first documented party that strictly followed a CFNM protocol occurred before the acronym was created. It was organized in 1990 by four famous women in the literary circles around San Francisco. They were Susie Bright, Lisa Palac, Laura Miller and Amy Wallace (daughter of legendary best-selling author, Irving Wallace). The ladies held a now-famous tea party where the invited guests were only women, with the invitation indicating the ladies' dress was to be formal attire. During the party they discussed literature, ate exquisite hors d'oeuvres and drank fine wine. However, all service at the party, including butlers, waiters and other service providers, were entirely men who volunteered - at no cost- to serve the female guests while concurrently following a protocol of the utmost politeness, being fully responsive to all service requests, and yet were only allowed to speak when spoken to. Most importantly, with the exception of a bow tie, cuffs and polished shoes and socks, all men had to otherwise be completely naked as they served the ladies with their naked buttocks and genitals on full display the entire time. The party, which was called The Naked Slaveboy Tea Party, was a huge success with the women, and since then, CFNM tea parties following a similar theme have been organized around the world, and are still occurring. Their success and longevity evidences the attractiveness of CFNM, and how it can be a very positive and wonderful environment for both women and men to experience.
Following this event in the 1990s, this author, Brad Thompson (my nom de plume) teamed with a group of devilishly fun-loving ladies to host the first official "CFNM" party. Concurrent with hosting this event, we created a website "Visual Sensations for Women", which was the predecessor name to this site, The CFNM Village. Through this website and parties, the acronym we created, CFNM, went viral. It soon grew to over 100 million hits on Google.
We have created a page that provides a detailed discussion on it's origins and history, and we recommend all newcomers to read it:
Q: Why has CFNM become "viral" and is gaining an international following in recent years?
A: Unlike those ancient times described above, in current society male nudity is not viewed with such adoration as is female nudity. Over recent centuries, female nudity has become the focus of society's attention. Female nudity can be seen in product advertisements and is gratuitously presented in movies and videos to attract audiences. Strip clubs and magazines also center on female nudity to cater to the male appetite whereas there are few avenues for women to enjoy the reverse. Recent publicized scandals involving men of power forcing themselves on women of lesser standing have finally brought the scorching light of scrutiny on many industries revealing how such a misogynistic culture has traumatized so many victimized women over the years. When such behavior is combined with the lower standing society has historically forced on women in households and the workplace, this objectification and exploitation of women's bodies adds more insult to injury.
In recent years however, women have begun to gain higher positions in politics and management in many industries to the point where they have recently tipped the balance. In most universities around the world, the ratio of female students obtaining higher level degrees now exceeds that of males. As these women slowly attain higher positions of power in our society's structure, their demands can no longer go ignored. They seek to enjoy the same privileges men have enjoyed, and for many, that includes their being presented an equal apportionment of male nudity in many societal contexts for their enjoyment, regardless of whether such presentation is done for purpose, or, simply gratuitous and solely to please them.
When desired by women and orchestrated for the right reasons, CFNM attempts to reverse the tables that have historically put men on top. It affords women the same opportunity for objectification of naked men that men have enjoyed from women. Through CFNM, women are given the chance to enjoy, unapologetically and without societal guilt, the presence of male nudity in whatever manner they please, absent any expectations of their engaging in a sexual encounter or having to remove clothing. At its core, the goal of CFNM is to serve as a counterbalance that empowers women. It lifts the standing of women in a social context through the stripping away of the men's clothing as both a figurative and literal way of also stripping away the assumed dominance and control that men have historically enjoyed.
Q: When I Google "CFNM", the images that come up appear to be just more male-oriented porn and look nothing like what is described here. Why is it so different?
A: Unfortunately, anytime something starts gaining popularity, profiteers will hijack the concept to cash in on it. The producers of pornography, which are almost entirely men, saw an opportunity to steal the concept and pervert it into something from which they can make money while doing so through what they do best - traditional male-oriented pornography. This type of porn follows certain standardized story lines that target their male customers' fantasies, and usually feature a lone male or two who are accosted by a group of young beautiful females wherein the men are stripped of their clothing. The actresses then proceed to "force" their sexually services on the men while the male actors feign resistance and distress over their sexual predicament. Of course, these scenarios only live in the fantasies of men and have no connection with reality, and are fantasies that women find ridiculous.
This type of porn is absolutely not CFNM as it fails to meet a number of the definitional requirements above. First, it always involves sexual acts that often become orgies. By definition, a CFNM encounter is not a conduit for a sexual encounter whereas this type of porn focuses upon sexual acts. Second, the women servicing the men are often topless or nude thereby violating the descriptive components of "CFNM". Third, it also violates the goal of CFNM, and that is to empower those women involved in a manner that they decide, not something dictated by men for men's enjoyment. Porn claiming to be "CFNM" is all about the man being the focus of attention and the females are simply props to provide masturbation fodder for the men that purchase this porn.
This type of porn has had an insidious and harmful impact on true CFNM. It has hijacked the concept turning it into just more misogynistic exploitation of women that real CFNM seeks to counter. It perverts the meaning and intent of true CFNM, which is to provide women a legitimate and well-deserved right to experience it in a way that satisfies them as opposed to just one more avenue for men to objectify women.
Q: If female empowerment is a goal, isn't CFNM a type of female domination or possibly even qualify as BDSM?
A: No. Female domination and/or BDSM are often referred to as fetishes or paraphilias that involve erotic play intended to subjugate the male through control, humiliation and/or pain. None of these concepts are part of the definition of CFNM, and were not part of its original usage at parties and events when originally created.
With this said, a CFNM dress protocol can be very favorable to certain BDSM activities, particularly those that involve female domination. CFNM uses clothing, or lack thereof, to elevate the standing of the women in a CFNM gathering, which also can serve an identical and very appropriate purpose in female domination play. In addition, many dominant females have indicated interest in attending CFNM parties solely because of the natural exchange of power CFNM conveys. For this reason, many in the BDSM fem-dom world have adopted CFNM as their own child, and because they have such a large active community, female domination parties characterized as "CFNM parties" have become common throughout the world. And frankly, this author - and founder of the term "CFNM" - is both honored and happy so many women and men have enjoyed it so much to where it has migrated around the globe, even though their meaning for the term does not match the original concept.
For those into the female domination fetish, CFNM is often referred to as "CFnm", which emulates the "D/s" label, a contraction of the "Dominant/submissive" title that emphasizes the female's dominant roll with a capitalized letter while the male's submissive standing is a lowercase letter. Although CFnm is markedly different from traditional CFNM in many aspects, there can be overlap to where this differentiation is blurred. The original purpose of orchestrated CFNM gatherings was to satiate the prurient interests of women to view and unabashedly explore and enjoy male nudity. CFnm is about subjugation of men by dominant women, and the CFNM dress protocol is a means of power exchange to enhance such subjugation. The overlap can happen when those women attending the event have both prurient interests in the naked bodies of their "subbies" while also enjoying the subjugation of the men. This demonstrates that the variance in purpose and intent behind differing CFNM gatherings can be viewed as a continuum wherein on one end it is a voyeuristic and sexual attraction to male nudity whereas on the opposite end it is about domination and subservience. CFNM parties can fall anywhere on the continuum between these completely differing purposes.
In conclusion, the female domination variety of CFNM (i.e. "CFnm") should be viewed as a subset category of the broader all-encompassing concept known as CFNM. In fact, our CFNM Village Survey showed that of those females interested in CFNM, female domination/BDSM was an interest for just minority of them. For those that use a CFNM protocol for their BDSM, femdom (D/s) and/or S&M activities, it is perfectly appropriate to identify their gathering as a "CFNM" event, but, it is both incorrect and ill-informed to state the reverse, and that is, CFNM is a form BDSM/femdom erotica as fact and history state otherwise.
Q: Is CFNM a creation by feminists?
A: No. There was no active involvement by any feminist community during the hosting of the first CFNM gatherings, nor at any time when we identified and named the concept. Further, to our knowledge, no feminist organization has ever made any statement regarding CFNM activities in either a supportive or nonsupportive way. With this said, although there is no direct link between CFNM and any feminist doctrine, when a CFNM protocol consistent with the definitions of this site is properly adopted, those feminist that have attended such gathering are almost unanimously supportive. In fact, in the first documented unofficial CFNM gathering discussed above (the Naked Slaveboy Tea Party) all of the women hosting the event were renowned feminists, and viewed the gathering as one that was in league with feminism. Thus, even though it preceded the creation of the acronym CFNM, the fact that a group of feminists organized and hosted the first documented event that followed a strict CFNM protocol evidences that at the very least, CFNM can be complementary to feminism.
A primary goal of feminism is the elevation of the political and social standing of women, and, to improve their personal and social rights from historic inequitable levels. Those feminists that enjoy CFNM gatherings have indicated that it does exactly that, but in a different way. Because the embracing of female empowerment is a goal of CFNM, it honors and values the importance of women in this unique social context. No one at a CFNM gathering defines the position of the woman as that is her sole right and ability to do so. Just as it pertains to their clothes however, the rights of the male gender at a CFNM gathering are both symbolically and literally stripped away. It is like the philosophical saying "the dark is present to emphasize the light", the abatement of the male's position at a CFNM gathering emphasizes the improved standing and rights of the women present. In our CFNM Village Survey, of those women polled that expressed interest in CFNM, 27.4% (106) identified themselves as being a feminist, which is a higher percentage than the 18% of the general female population that identify as being feminists, which was established by the 2015 Vox poll. Further, a female founder of a web group devoted to feminism wrote me an email commending me on the "brilliance" of CFNM gatherings, and how she was proselytizing it among her group as a pro-feminism type of erotic gathering. For me and my friends that have orchestrated CFNM gatherings, we strive to make sure feminists know we support their movement fully and hope that if not directly supportive, feminists perceive our events are at least complementary to their cause, and we are always elated when feminists attend our CFNM events.
An excellent treatise on contrasting the CFNM movement with feminism was published in the British e-magazine, The Debrief:
Sexual creativity is a mystery that will never be solved by commercialism.”
~ Susie Bright, renowned feminist and organizer of the first unofficial CFNM tea party ~
Q: Is it CFNM's purpose to create situations whereby men can flash women?
A: Absolutely not. One of the definitional requirements of CFNM identified above is that both woman and man must be consenting adults to the interaction. "Flashing" involves a man who unilaterally exposes himself to unsuspecting females. This violates the very reasons CFNM was created. Flashing often puts the woman, or more appropriately, victim, into a state of confusion, fear and often disgust. Women never know if a man that flashes her also intends to rape her, thus making her fearful for her life. Any man that flashes a woman demonstrates the worst kind of selfishness, and that is putting someone else in a traumatized state just so that he can get erotic relief. So inept are these men at being able to empathize or understand the mental state of the woman they are flashing that some think that by staging their flashing as an "accident" it is somehow more acceptable. The poor hotel maids and dressing room attendants that fall victims to these "accidents" are not so ignorant as these perpetrators think, and often times these men are subsequently arrested, and thankfully so!
The goal of CFNM is to satisfy the needs and interests of women while also empowering them. Flashing does just the opposite!
Q: CFNM is a thing for gay men - who are you fooling?
A: Such a statement demonstrates ignorance. First, CFNM by definition is an interaction between women and men, not men and men, and therefore constitutes a heterosexual situation. The consensual involvement of females in CFNM is critically important for virtually all men that enjoy it. Second, in the CFNM Village Survey, the percentage of men that responded with an interest in CFNM and were also gay was less than the percentage of gays in the general population based upon national surveys. This evidences that society in general has a higher percentage of gays than does the CFNM community. Men that are fearful of homosexuality being part of the CFNM experience are, in this author's opinion, homophobic and paranoid. Further, men that cannot understand why any other man might be involved in a scenario wherein it is the men, and not the women, that are nude with no expectation of having sex with those women display the same misogynistic orientation that has continued to plague the female gender for generations.
This author will also affirmatively state, however, that yes, homosexuals can also have an interest in CFNM, even to the point of attending CFNM parties and events. In fact, one of the founders of the CFNM Village is a gay man and has repeatedly indicated that the enticing eroticism of being naked and vulnerable to the female gender is his reason for interest, and such a draw is consistent with many heterosexual males that enjoy it. There are also a number of CFNM tea and other parties held wherein lesbian females are invited and attend while expressing their enjoyment of such gatherings. From this author's personal experience, gay men attending CFNM gatherings often bring a friendliness and harmony between the men that counterbalances the natural combative nature of some of the men that are charged with high levels of testosterone that eroticism sometimes ignites, which creates a type of "force field" between the more homophobic men fearful of interacting with another naked man in an erotic situation.
Although CFNM was not created to serve interests of the gay community, it also does not exclude members of the LGTB community from enjoying and attending our CFNM events. Our community is based upon tolerance and understanding of all races, nationalities and sexual orientations, and all are welcome to join us here at the CFNM Village.
Q: What are the reasons women give as to why they are interested in CFNM gatherings?
A: Having both co-hosted and attended numerous CFNM parties and events over the years, this author has had the opportunity to ask scores of women this question. In addition, we included such questions in our CFNM Village poll. The full polling results, which are presented in our CFNM Library, evidence that one of the main reasons the majority of women would want to go to a CFNM party would be the mandatory requirement for all men to be completely naked while having the comfort and security knowing that all women will remain clothed. This includes most enjoying the advantage the women have over the men, using this specific response - "Haha - we can see you but you can't see us!" This evidences that the majority of women that enjoy CFNM like the fact that not only does it provide an unfair advantage for the females, but that CFNM both openly recognizes and celebrates this inequity. A majority of women also responded that they would enjoy the more prurient opportunities CFNM provides, including that they found it sexually arousing to look at naked men and would enjoy seeing so many nude men all at once. Most of the women also identified reasons that were associated with their opportunity to see, observe and contrast the exposed buttocks and genitals of the men. This evidences that for many of the female respondents, visual sensations were a key benefit of going to the parties, which is contrary to the popular notion that women are generally not visually stimulated.
Also cited as important is the empowerment of women giving their gender a stronger standing at the event than what is normally expected at social gatherings. And perhaps the most popular reason was they would like for the men to provide polite servitude to the women such as tea service, catering to the women's needs, pampering, foot massages, etc. Of the women polled in our CFNM Village Survey, about 33% (one-third) would want the gathering to also feature female domination activities, although specifically what that would mean -ergo, to simply enjoy watching or actually participate - was not asked in the survey (perhaps next time!)
The survey confirmed the reasons women have repeatedly told us as to why they enjoy CFNM parties. They not only enjoy being able to see so many nude men at the same time in all their naked glory, but also that such protocol is a one-sided unfair advantage for the women that is not only openly acknowledged, but openly celebrated as to one of the great benefits of CFNM. They also enjoy the chivalrous servitude the naked men provide, while simply put, being able to enjoy a "crazy and fun" time like none other they've experienced.
Q: I understand why a woman would enjoy a CFNM gathering such as that described here, but why would men enjoy it?
A: The reasons men enjoy attending CFNM events vary and depend upon each man attending. Men give many reasons with one of the most common being that the exposure and naked vulnerability to the "fairer gender" is intoxicatingly exciting if not erotic. These men indicate that walking about stark naked around a group of clothed women, many of whom they've just met, is an electric sensation comparable to being doused with bucket of cold water. Another reason is that some men are exhibitionist - in a positive way - and feel charged when a clothed woman glances down to observe their exposed body parts, which are normally kept secret to the world. Other men find that when a female studies their naked bodies with admiration, it is a validation of their desirability so they hope that attending a CFNM gathering would provide such affirmation. And as discussed above, many men enjoy being subjugated and subservient to dominant women, and CFNM, or more appropriately, CFnm, gives them that opportunity.
Ultimately, the key reason this author likes to focus upon is that in my experience, when men present themselves vulnerable and in all their naked glory, and do so in a respectful manner that places the women's interest and needs above theirs - which may include providing them services such as food or drink, foot massages or participating in activities designed to please the women - the result is a splendidly harmonious connection between the genders. The women are delighted and thoroughly enjoy the men's efforts to please them, and the men benefit from the exchange by gaining the knowledge that they have brought pleasure to the women, which should be the ultimate goal of any CFNM gathering. And in my experience, when both women and men experience CFNM at this level, it is common that friendships are created that extend past the specific party where attendees meet.
Q: I am interested in events where some of the men are nude, but also the women may go nude or perhaps topless. Is this CFNM?
A: No. CFNM is exactly what the acronym states: Clothed-Female/Naked-Male. CFNM gatherings always require all men to be completely naked at all times. These events typically have a mirror rule for the ladies, which prohibits any female nudity, including being topless, from occurring at anytime during the event. And this position on full clothing for women at all times is supported by the CFNM Village Survey we conducted. The majority of women interested in CFNM parties agree that they would not only expect all men to remain nude, but also, would want all other women to remain fully clothed. Their reasons for other women to remain clothed followed one or more of the following reasons:
1. First, if women also got nude, it would change the atmosphere potentially provoking sexual play between participants, which would not only be to their disliking, but is contrary to the fundamental purpose of CFNM;
2. Second, many women come with the understanding they will not be required to undress and if others do, they may feel at a disadvantage, particularly if the women feel insecure about their body image;
3. Third, couples often come and some wives have indicated they would feel uneasy watching their nude husbands mingle with other nude women while they remained clothed; and,
4. Fourth, women want to preserve the very unique dynamic of CFNM, which is an intentional inequitable imbalance between genders wherein all men are subjected to a disadvantage through being vulnerably naked while all women can enjoy that vulnerability while concurrently remaining clothed. This preserves the wonderful intentional and overt inequity CFNM provides the women and men that enjoy it.
Further, so that there is never any misunderstanding or attempts by men to alter the CFNM protocol, all men attending a CFNM party must acknowledge in advance that even though they must remain completely naked at all times they are at the party, at no time will they ever have the opportunity to see any female nudity whatsoever.
As a general statement, people are free to host whatever type of party using whatever dress protocol they desire, and we have no issue with them doing so. However, for those that want to use the terminology "CFNM" to describe their event, the above protocols must be followed in the strictest sense, otherwise, it cannot be properly characterized as a CFNM gathering. And we are adamant about this definitional use, otherwise the purity of its meaning and original intent will be compromised and diluted, which would result in loss of its wonderful dynamic.
Q: I would like to attend a CFNM party. Where can I find one in my area, and what can I expect if I attend?
A: These questions, plus many more that pertain to organizing and attending CFNM parties and events, deserve their own web page of information. For this reason, we have a separate page that provides information and resources for those that want to attend CFNM gatherings, and a how-to manual for those that want to host them. In addition, we have a separate F.A.Q.s page devoted exclusively to CFNM parties and events. As with this page, the information evolved over years by hundreds of women and men that have both attended CFNM parties and have successfully orchestrated them.
You can access this page here: