The Female-First Doctrine

Although not always identified as formal doctrine, the concept of "females-first" is integral to all true CFNM events, regardless of their character or theme.   The Female-First Doctrine ("Doctrine") is not intended to promote female superiority, nor does it imply any form of domination.  Instead, the Doctrine is an attempt to correct the long history of how society has inculcated the hierarchy of roles between genders.  CFNM accomplishes this by tipping the scales in reverse towards an increase in the standing and empowerment of women.   The Doctrine establishes that for those few hours during a given CFNM event, the needs and interests of the women always supersede that of the men.   There are both pragmatic and philosophical reasons for the Doctrine.

From a pragmatic perspective:  The Doctrine is critically necessary.  Those experienced with hosting CFNM gathering know that when properly advertised, regardless of the type of event, the number of men interested in attending always exceeds the number of women.   This is in part due to women being wary that the event may be a ruse for giving men an opportunity to engage in sexual activities, which women often do not desire.   Women have justifiably come to expect that men will typically attempt to control any gathering of an erotic nature resulting in their treating the women as sexual objects there to satiate their fantasies.  The Doctrine serves to reverse this imbalance by placing a greater importance on what women want and need, and in so doing, assure that women can expect that their expectations of comfort and security will be honored.   When women know they will be  respected in an environment that is designed to meet their own interests and desires as opposed to that of the men, the number of women that will come to a CFNM event increases precipitously.   When the gender ratio at a CFNM party is harmoniously balanced, all attending - both women and men - enjoy the gathering far more, and that is the primary determiner of success.

From a philosophical perspective: The Doctrine serves to empower women beyond what society has traditionally allowed.   The Doctrine's purpose is to provide balance through imbalance.  It swings the pendulum from the conventional misogynistic orientation of sexual conquest in favor of the female.   Rather than the women being a prop for men's objectification, it is the men who are objectified.  When the woman is empowered through the assurance that she will always remain fully clothed whereas it is mandated that the man may never be clothed, his hidden secrets are prominently laid bare for her to see while concurrently he is denied the equal privilege of seeing hers.   And just as the disparity in required clothing, or rather lack thereof, favors women, so do the authority and privileges granted the respective genders.   The Doctrine encourages women to feel free to experience the men's uncovered bodies in whatever manner they desire, or to ask the men to do certain things whereas if the men were to ask such things of the women, it would be deemed inappropriate and wholly unacceptable resulting in the men being asked to leave.   The Doctrine not only recognizes these inequities, but intentionally encourages and celebrates them.   By design CFNM is unfair towards men, and the Doctrine serves to enforce that unfairness in a way that assures the women can receive the greatest enjoyment from that inequity in whatever manner suits them while also enjoying the comfort in knowing they will never have to reciprocate.

In application:  The Female-First Doctrine establishes that all decisions about a CFNM gathering, including, but not limited to, rules and policies, the event location, dress of the respective genders, proper deportment, protocol, schedule, agendas, games and activities, roles and responsibilities of both the women and men attending are always ultimately decided solely by the females hostessing and/or attending the gathering. If the women are obtuse to activities designed to arouse the men, such activities should not occur. Alternatively, if the females attending want such activities, then those activities can become an integral part of the event's agenda with how and when they are administered being solely at the discretion of the women. Any man that objects to or argues about any of the decisions made by the women has not fully embraced the Doctrine and should not be allowed to attend the event. Men attending a CFNM event should always strive to prove to the women that they support and embrace the Doctrine, and this proof is evidenced by their alacrity in complying to the wishes and needs of the women.

As it pertains to the variety of CFNM parties that are part of the BDSM/female-domination community, the Female-First Doctrine is not intended to be a mechanism to establish female domination or subjugation of men.  The protocol and activities that determine female domination over submissive men are distinct and separate from the intent of the Doctrine.   However, the two can be very complementary.  Adoption of the Doctrine is not mutually exclusive to the female superiority environment as it can be the first step towards it.  But the D/s dynamic goes far beyond the "balancing through imbalance" that CFNM strives to attain and for this reason, the Doctrine should never be characterized as being prescriptive to female domination (we invite you to read more about the differentiation between CFNM and CFnm on our FAQs page).

Men that strictly follow the Female-First Doctrine are granted the ability to prove their appreciation of women by meeting their wants and needs through unsurpassable service and gallant chivalry.  In return for such service, the men's sole reward is the knowledge that they have pleased the women, and, were given the opportunity to prove to the women that they embrace the Doctrine.

Referencing this Doctrine:  The Female-First Doctrine presented here has served planners and hostesses of CFNM gatherings in the past by providing them something to reference when seeking concurrence of attendees before an event.    This Doctrine is open-sourced, meaning anyone that wishes to use it or copy it in whole or in part may do so without first getting permission.  However, this is conditioned upon not reinterpreting or changing the intent of the Doctrine, but instead, to promote its acceptance fully and comprehensively at CFNM gatherings.    To assist such hosts and planners, the following agreement is provided for you to reference when having your prospective guests agree to your rules and expectations prior to attending your events:

Female-First Doctrine Agreement

I hereby state that I have thoroughly read the entirety of the Female-First Doctrine presented on this page and fully understand its meaning and intent.  I agree to abide by the protocol for CFNM events dictated by the Doctrine, will embrace its application, and, will use best efforts to follow its full intent.  


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